Why it is easier for Dad!
And why that’s a bit sad…
This will be somewhat controversial, but in the early days, I have to admit, I think I was better at settling our daughter.
Each of us had our good and bad days, but I have a few things that helped me a lot. First off, I can do mundane tasks for a long period of time without getting bored, and sometimes settling involved walking back and forth gently rocking for extended periods. According to my wife I am also fatter/more cushiony than her which gives a more comfortable ride.
Along with the extra fat though is a bit more muscle, so carrying our daughter for an extended period and picking her up/putting her down in the bassinet was a bit easier for me.
The mother-daughter bond grows
As time went on though, the bond between mother and daughter grew. I went back to work so was spending less time with them, and our daughter would almost insist that Mum takes her to bed.
She is 2 now, and as soon as we say bed time she’ll run to Mum and cuddle her leg. We rotate the settling routine between us, and on my nights I will usually be picking up a bawling daughter who I calm down in her room with some reading and singing.
Out of site, out of mind
When i take her to her room and Mum is out of sight, the crying almost always stops, she quickly calms down and is happy to sit with me and read some books. She’ll happily get in bed, we’ll sing a couple of her favorite songs with the light out and eventually she’ll be on the edge of sleep and I can sneak out. Job done.
When Mum is settling though, everything changes. We say bed time and she runs to Mum, then happily goes into her room to read some books. But the move from reading to bed is when things start going down hill. She knows that Mummy is going to leave soon and lets everyone know how sad she is about it!
When the lights go out and when Mum leaves the room it sometimes sounds like the world is going to end. Often I will do a follow up visit, calm her down and sing some songs to get her to sleep.
Am I a baby whisperer?
I used to think I was a baby whisperer, that I was naturally gifted in the art of making babies sleep. I’ve come to realise, however, that the tears are actually because our daughter doesn’t want to be separated from Mummy. When I take her to her bedroom it’s not because she doesn’t want to go to bed, it’s because she doesn’t want to leave Mum! She loves me enough that I can calm her down once Mum is out of sight, but when she is in bed and I’m about to say good night, doesn’t suffer the same anguish when I leave!
So yes, I am quite good at settling our daughter, but only because she is less attached to me than her Mum!
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